God can't love me.

One of my favorite stories in all of scripture is the story of the prodigal son. To summarize the story, a wealthy father has two sons, one son is a faithful son, the other son is a rebellious son. The rebellious son comes to his father one day and says “Dad, I am done living under your roof, please give me my inheritance now so that I may go live my own way.”

This rebellious son just walked into his fathers living room, wearing clothes his fathers money purchased, standing in shoes that his father gave to him, with a full stomach that his father provided for him and said, dad I wish you were dead so that I could have what would be given to me when you die…

Imagine the fathers heart… His son, whom he loves dearly just walked in and called for his death… Over money… The father, heart broken and defeated, gives the son his inheritance. The son gleefully skips out the door with his bag full of cash and heads to a distant land to spend it.

The money doesn't last long. (It never does) Soon the son finds himself alone, depressed and flat broke. This leads this rebellious son to have to get a real job, feeding pigs. Scripture says that one day he looked at himself and said “even the servants in my fathers house eat better than this” So he headed back to his dad's house.

This is where most story tellers get the story wrong, they say he felt remorse that he was sorry for the way he had treated his father. There is only one problem with this point of view… It's not in the bible… The son returned home because he was hungry. He does say that he is going to ask to be one of his fathers servants so even though there isn't a huge hint of actual remorse he does at least acknowledge the fact that the way that he left his father most likely resulted in his father no longer viewing him as his son…

THE REUNION:

Soon the son comes over the crest of the final hill towards his fathers house, scripture says that “while he was still a long way off” His father saw him and ran to him. Instead of beating him, cursing at him or rubbing it in his face that he didn't make it on his own, the father embraces him. The father wraps the son in his own coat and places a ring on his finger.

Let me take a second to explain something, when we read that text we think “oh it's just a ring”, but in that culture that ring would have been similar to a credit card. That ring would have contained the family crest and would have entitled the wearer to the riches of the family. Not exactly the way you would think to treat a son who just squandered his entire inheritance. Oh and by the way, it most likely would have been a ring custom made for the son, which could have a dual meaning, either the father held on to that ring after the son left the first time. Or even deeper, after the son left the father had the ring made just for that son, anxiously expecting his return.

THE PARTY:

The father is so overjoyed by the return of his son that he throws a party in his honor. As the music and dancing begin the faithful son returns from working in the fathers field… As he approaches the house he hears the music and sees the feast being prepared, confused, he asks one of the servants “what is going on?”. The servant gives the faithful son a bewildered look “have you not heard? Your brother has returned and your father is throwing a feast for him!”. “My brother?”....

The faithful son looks up again at the great feast and party thrown in honor of his rebellious brother… He is disgusted, he turns his back to walk away but right when he does he hears a voice call out to him, “My Son.” He knows this voice, it is the voice he had heard thousands of times throughout his life, the voice of his tender hearted father.

“Why are you leaving? Your brother is inside, he wants to see you.” Through tear filled eyes the faithful son responds “Father, I have been faithful to you for years, all my life I have dedicated and sacrificed to being your son. Yet you have never thrown me a party. But my brother… He insults you, tarnishes your good name, embarrasses our family and squanders your money and THIS is the party that awaits him when he returns?”. With that the faithful son stomps out of his fathers presence…

Now I want to stop for a second and finish the story, this ending that I am about to tell is not in scripture it is my own OPINION of what happened next.

THE ENDING:

The rebellious son would be accepted back into the family, he would be loved by his father, accepted by his friends and restored to good standing in all areas of his life. This restoration wouldn't come from work ethic or time and grade but rather this son's restoration would come from his fathers unfathomable grace.

But one day would come. A day would come when the faithful son would confront the rebellious son. He would point out all that the rebellious son had done, all of the heart ache he had put their father through and how unworthy the rebellious son truly was. The biggest problem? The faithful son is right and the rebellious son knows it. Deep down he knows he is unworthy, he knew he didn't deserve the love that his father offered him, and more than anything he knew that after all that he had put his father through, he no longer deserved to be his son.

The rebellious son would come before his father again, his head held low and eyes filled with tears. With a trembling voice he would tell his father that he no longer deserves to be called his son. His father would protest, his father would tell him just how much he truly loves him but in the end the son would slip that ring from his finger, remove his fathers robe, apologize a million times and go back to the distant land. This time, not because he wanted to but rather because in the eyes of the rebellious son, that is what he deserved…

CONCLUSION:

Often, the first thing that Satan tries to convince you of is that God can't love you. That God's infinite love is not strong enough to overpower the depth of your brokenness and mistakes.

When you have your life together and all is going well these surface level jabs don't seem to mess with your head.

It's when you mess up that things begin to change, it's in the middle of a mistake that your trust in God's grace begins to shake.

So here is a reminder, no matter where you are, no matter what you have done, no matter how far you have run. God still loves you.